More Jackson County Opinions...

 July 5, 2000

Column
Tim Thomas
The Jackson Herald
July 5, 2000

The shortcut game
Husbands, do you have one of those habits that really annoys your wife? Of course you do. It's a qualification for the job. I seem to remember having to check a box on the marriage license application indicating that I did indeed have a habit that would annoy my bride (actually, I have about 12, but we'll save that for another column).
One habit that is of particular annoyance to my wife is my propensity to look for shortcuts while driving. One might think I'd learn after the first dozen or so misadventures, but that's another box on the marriage license ­ lack of ability to learn anything from spousal conflicts.
Mountain fishing trips provide the best opportunity to find new shortcuts. On one such trip a few years ago with a coworker and his son, I sat in the navigator's seat and guided us to the Chattahoochee River above Helen. I'd been there already probably two dozen times, but of course, there had to be a shorter way. Off we went, the coworker driving and me acting as if I'd been this route before. If he'd known I hadn't, he probably would have turned around and gone back home.
About 25 minutes into the trip, I started to get worried. I had no clue where we were. The internal compass said we were headed in the right direction, but big old Yonah Mountain was nowhere to be seen.
Just when I'd almost given up, we rounded a curve, and there was the familiar peak right in front of us. At the water, my watch told me we'd cut more than 10 minutes off my previous best time. I beamed with pride, though the fish made sure that was short-lived.
Once on the way back from Cleveland, I made the fateful decision to try a new route back home ­ against my imploring wife's wishes. Once again, about 25 minutes into the journey, things were not looking good. But this tale has a happy ending too, right?
Wrong. After 35 minutes of driving along a back road, we found ourselves in ­ you guessed it ­ Cleveland. Fortunately for me, Leigh Ann's sense of humor overruled her temper that day.
By the way, fellow Mainstreet Newspaper employee Sharon Hogan informed me this week that this desire for shortcuts is not unique to men. Evidently, Sharon has graced husband Ricky with a few shortcuts of her own.
So the next time you're out driving with the spouse, take a turn down that lonely side road you've never driven. Who knows, you might just save yourself some time.
Then again, you might just provide your spouse with a good laugh.
***
Special thanks this week to Jackson County girls' basketball coach Annette Watts and all the Lady Panthers coaches and players for a very special gift.
Tim Thomas is a reporter for The Jackson Herald.


Letter To The Editor
The Jackson Herald
July 5, 2000

Says kudzu should be cleared
Dear Editor:
We have lived in Jefferson for the past 12 years. We live on Oak Avenue near Martin Luther King Jr. Avenue. The lot next to us is vacant and filled with kudzu.
We would like to thank Georgia Power for coming by last week and Bushhogging a portion of the vacant lot. Now you can see the railroad crossing sign and the stop sign at the end of the street. Whoever the person was did an excellent job.
The city of Jefferson has not done anything to deal with this problem since we have lived here. We have seen the kudzu grown out into the middle of the street and up over the stop sign. If the city doesn't have the equipment to take care of the situation, they can do like we have always done and get out the old sling blade and Round Up and use a little hard work to keep the street clear. If we had not worked so hard at keeping the kudzu back from our yard and off the bank near our driveway, we could not see to pull out into the street.
We think the city should try a little harder to take care of its roadsides. The mayor and city council re-opened our road to through traffic after all of the residents opposed the re-opening. The least they can do is keep the kudzu out of the street!

Sincerely, Mikki Clark and Opal Tate, Oak Avenue, Jefferson

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Column
By Adam Fouche
The Jackson Herald
July 5, 2000

I tried to play golf at Jekyll
I don't play golf.
In fact, I possess as much golf talent as Mike Tyson possesses good social skills.
But last weekend I bagged up all of my one game worth of experience and walked onto the Oleander golf course in Jekyll Island with co-worker Zach Mitcham and former co-worker Bert Brantley. We were actually on the island for the Georgia Press Association's newspaper awards, but we had all day Saturday to find the best way to thoroughly embarrass ourselves.
So I headed off to the course that day with high hopes and a brave heart. I knew it would take every bit of my concentration and skill to even be sort of bad.
First thing, we got to the clubhouse and began making our payment arrangements, which, for me, entailed signing over the title to my car. Then I was beat down for wearing cut-off shorts, which I, being the avid golfer that I am, failed to realize was against the rules.
Next, Bert and I got a golf cart and Zach got his own cart, and we took off to hole one.
I didn't do too hot on holes one through two, but they were excusable because they were my "warm-up" holes. (As it turns out, every hole was my "warm-up" hole.)
I missed a putt for par on hole three. Then, I missed it again before finally sinking it for a double bogey.
After hole four, I began making friends with two people we met at the course, Sand and Water.
I shook hands with Sand on several occasions. After I finally figured out how to use my sand wedge, I did all right in the traps. I also started carrying around a rake in my golf bag, after I learned I was really supposed to use the rake. I really thought they were lying around because the people working there forget to put them up.
After nine holes, we headed over to the clubhouse to let a couple of angry people behind us play through. I treated myself to a banana and a Coke, because I deserved it.
Then, we headed back out and I caught up with Water. Water didn't treat me as hospitably as Sand did. Just when I thought I was doing good, Water would creep out from around a tree, snatch my ball and snicker at me with his friends. I don't too much care for Water.
Then, there's the dead golf cart.
On about hole 10, the cart Bert and I were riding in began going real slow. Both of us had to stick one foot out the side of the cart and push a little to help it along the fairway and the wooded areas my ball seemed to be attracted to.
By hole 14, the cart had given out completely. We finally had to hook our cart to Zach's and get him to pull us around. His cart was able to tow us around faster than our cart ran by itself when we first started.
As we worked our way around to hole 16 or 17, we came across two deer eating alongside the cart path. We studied them briefly until I caught sight of some object lying on the path. It was an alligator.
I got out of the cart and approached it, but it didn't seem to like me too much. The gator turned away from me and crept near the deer. We all thought it was about to attack the deer like on some of those cool shows on the Discovery channel.
But he just went around the deer uneventfully. We tossed a couple of crackers at the gator, but he wouldn't eat them. Alligators must not like peanut butter crackers. I don't think deer do either. We finally left the wildlife and went on to finish the course.
I had a lot of fun playing golf Saturday, even though I didn't do very well. I'm not ready to give up on myself just yet. I think I have a lot of talent, and I surely can't do any worse than I've already done.
I'm always open for advice on how to improve my game, so give me a call if you can help.
In the meantime, I'll be hanging out in the clubhouse, trying to get the title to my car back.
Adam Fouche is a reporter for MainStreet Newspapers.


Letter To The Editor
The Jackson Herald
July 5, 2000

Offers thanks to JABA
Dear Editor:
I would like to take this opportunity to thank the Jefferson Area Business Association for allowing Jefferson Little League to participate in the Fourth of July celebration on the square. As a non-profit organization, we depend upon the generosity of the local businesses and community to promote and foster growth of sports to our youth in the character-building experience.
We are dedicated to making the Jefferson area youth recreational programs excel and allowing all children to be able to participate, including scholarship programs for families who might need assistance. This event allowed us the opportunity to introduce our organization to those who might not have been aware of the sports programs offered by our youth in the Jefferson area. We felt our goals were achieved and look forward to teaming up with JABA in future events.

Sincerely, Carol Burnett, president, Jefferson Little League, Inc.


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