More Jackson County Opinions...

 July 12, 2000

Column
Tim Thomas
The Jackson Herald
July 12, 2000

Jackson County's
political WWF

Does anyone know when it began, this notion of comparing a political campaign to a race? I suppose it may have been around as long as politics itself. But doesn't it seem a bit strange?
What if candidates actually had to race to win a position? Would David Murphy, a.k.a. "The Pendergrass Flash", run for sheriff? Or would he build a car for Charles Hayes? Ooh, what about a demolition race? No, we can't do that with the current slate of candidates for the commission chairman's post. Jerry Waddell has decided not to run.
Better yet, why can't someone come up with a "Who wants to run the county" board game? Is Regis available? No, we don't want Chuck Woolery. How about Bob Barker? He kind of fits the mold of a politician.
I recall an old (note: age-revealing illustration coming up) television commercial that said Abraham Lincoln once wrestled someone for the position of squad leader in the militia, or something of that nature. What a novel idea!
What say we pit Harold "The Dealer" Fletcher, Roy "The Grubber" Grubbs and Tommy "Quiet Man" Stephenson against one another in a wrestling match? While we're at it, let's make it a professional-style match. They still have the Hard Core squared circle from Independence Weekend at Commerce High School, don't they? Somebody get Gerald Jordan on the phone.
Outgoing commission chairman Jerry "The Man" Waddell could officiate. Henry "Wild Man" Robinson can do play-by-play and David "Bobo" Bohanan color commentary. And of course, who else could man the ringside bell but Pat "The Dinger" Bell?
One question, though: if referee Waddell slaps all the contestants unconscious with a folding chair, does that mean he gets to stay on as chairman? Kind of brings new meaning to the title, doesn't it?
Oh, another question: if Mark "The Wise Man" Tolbert doesn't like the outcome, will he charge out of the locker room carrying a bucket of raw sewage? Watch out in the front row!
The World Wrestling Federation has a character called "The Undertaker." Maybe Keith Whitfield and Stan Evans should duke it out in a steel cage match for the right to be called "The Jackson County Undertaker."
I have a feeling that if our local candidates were required to wrestle for their posts, we'd probably need both Whitfield and Evans to haul away the expired bodies. They could be "Mr. Undertaker No. 1" and "Mr. Undertaker No. 2."
I hear the WWF is full of bad guys now ­ no good guys like Tony Atlas or Tommy Rich to cheer for. Sounds a lot like politics to me; how many times have you said, "I don't know who to vote for. I don't really like any of them."
Here's a serious question: if our political races were held in a professional wrestling ring, how many registered voters would turn out?
"Hello, Gerald? How much longer until football season?"
Tim Thomas is a reporter for The Jackson Herald.


Letter To The Editor
The Jackson Herald
July 12, 2000

What about recycling water?
Dear Editor:
We hear every day regarding committees meeting and after days of discussion decide how to conserve water. Has it ever occurred to them the possibility of recycling water?
In Houston, Texas, houses are built with an "Aerobic" system that cleans the water and sends it back out to the yard via a sprinkler system. On a smaller scale a faucet splitter could be installed on the washing machine, bathroom sinks, showers and tubs. Information could be obtained from the Agricultural Division of UGA to determine what detergents and soaps could and could not be used on grass, flowers and gardens. If people were to use recycled water for outside, there should be plenty for use on the inside.
It seems to me instead of approving subdivision after subdivision, the BOC should prioritize items in a logical sequence. First comes the water, and THEN comes the building.

Sincerely, Joan Ryder

Column
By Drew Brantley
The Commerce News
July 12, 2000

CPRD Girls Seek
2nd State Trophy
The Commerce Parks and Recreation Department 13-under girls' softball team deserves a great deal of praise. After several of the girls were part of last year's 12-under state championship, it is little surprise that the group finds itself in the state tournament again this year.
If it were easy to make it to state, it wouldn't be so praiseworthy. Everyone would do it. But not everyone makes it to state, much less comes back with the title trophy.
The girls will begin play this week in Adel at the state tournament. That is a long way for anyone to go. But as they are battling for another trophy, I know Commerce will be pulling for them.
CHS SLATE TOUGHEST
The football schedule book arrived at the paper office last week. Before I looked through the book, I knew that Commerce's football schedule was going to be tough.
After I looked through the book, I found out it is the toughest schedule in Class A, based on last year's records.
The Tigers' opponents had a winning percentage of .667 last year. That list includes the Class A state runner-up and six other playoff teams.
Commerce's total of seven playoff opponents is also best in class. Part of that strong schedule came from being able to select seven non-region games. But the region opponents' record is still good for an impressive 20-12 mark. That winning percentage of .626 is easily the best in the state.
McIntosh County Academy has the toughest non-region schedule in Class A by a bunch. Playing three games against Class A champion Charlton County, Region 1-A champion Atkinson County and Metter, McIntosh's opponents were all in the playoffs and compiled a 32-6 record. Its total record dipped to 63-47 after being handed a 31-41 mark from its region foes.
Lincoln County and Buford are second and third on the overall season schedule strength. Athens Academy is fifth. While those three teams have more tough teams on their non-region schedule, they all share Commerce as well.
Lincoln County has the second-highest non-region schedule, with a .755 winning percentage. Calvary Baptist is third, with a .688 mark. Commerce is fourth with a percentage of .683. Athens Academy rounds out the top five, with a .655.
Does all this mean anything? Well, it does show that several teams opted to play extremely tough schedules after the Class A regions were thinned out due to realignment.
Commerce faces seven playoff teams this year, while they saw four the year before. With eight region playoff games, it wasn't possible to do much better than that in 1999.
While three regions have only four teams in Class A for 2000, the region races will not mean as much across the state. But overall, it seems like several teams should have playoff level intensity every week.
Drew Brantley is the sports editor for The Commerce News and The Banks County News.

 

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