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Column
By
Frank Gillespie
The Madison County Journal
June 20, 2001
Frankly
Speaking
 Those square foods
Did you see the big news story about the Japanese growing a square
watermelon? Apparently, they want to produce watermelons that
will fit into the refrigerator better.
Well, they are behind in the square food race. My Uncle Judd
once taught a chicken to lay a square egg. He had to, you see.
He lived on the side of one of those North Georgia Mountains,
and every time his chickens laid an egg, it would roll down the
hill and break on a rock. So he taught that old hen to lay a
square egg so it would stay in the nest.
It was a lot of effort for little results, though. The old hen
refused to lay more than one egg a month. Those corners on the
eggs hurt, don't you know?
Uncle Judd was a whiz at breeding animals. He had to be, living
on that mountainside. He bred a herd of cows that had long legs
on one side and short legs on the other. That way, the cows were
able to stand up straight on the steep slopes. Of course, they
could only face one way.
If they turn around, they would be lying on their sides. Uncle
Judd would put the cows out of one end of the barn. They would
graze around the mountain during the day, and go back into the
other end of the barn that night. Milking those cows was easy.
We had to milk them on the down hill side, and the hill was so
steep that we milked them standing up.
I went up to visit Uncle Judd one weekend. Aunt Jenny called
us in to eat and everyone sat down at the table except for Uncle
Judd. He put his plate on the mantle and proceeded to eat standing
up. When I asked him why, he refused to answer. Later Aunt Jenny
told me what happened.
Uncle Judd went deer hunting on the mountain. But every time
he tried to line up a shot, the deer would walk around the hill
out of sight.
Uncle Judd got frustrated with this, so he wedged his rifle between
two rocks and bent the barrel so the bullet would follow the
deer around the mountain.
Well, he spotted a deer, took aim and fired. The deer ducked
around the mountain and the bullet followed. The deer stumbled
on a rock and the bullet missed. It continued around the mountain
and eventually hit Uncle Judd in his backside! When they finally
got the bullet out, he was too sore to sit.
Back to that square watermelon. I understand they cost $87 each.
At that price, the Japanese square watermelon will be about as
successful as Uncle Judd's square eggs.
Frank Gillispie is founder of The Madison County Journal.
His web page can be accessed at www.mcga.net. His email address
is frankg@mcga.net.
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Column
By
Zach Mitcham
The Madison County Journal
June 20, 2001
A Moment
with Margie
 Celebrating number 22
Charles and I celebrated our wedding anniversary last week by
attending a relative's out-of-town nuptials and eating out (a
lot).
Miranda was serving as a bridesmaid at our cousin Sheila's wedding
in Carrollton, so the Richards family packed up and headed out
of town through Atlanta early Thursday afternoon to be there
in time for the rehearsal dinner.
We made the drive through Atlanta in the middle of a rainstorm
unscathed, checked into our hotel and headed for the rehearsal.
Everything went off without a hitch and we enjoyed a wonderful
sit- down dinner at the Maple Street Mansion in downtown Carrollton.
If you're ever in Carrollton (the location of the State University
of West Georgia), I highly recommend it.
Our dinner companion was the minister performing the ceremony.
When asked where we're from, I'm always prepared to explain just
where Danielsville is. But I was surprised this time to find
out the reverend had not only heard of Danielsville, but had
just returned from his first trip to Madison County. A history
buff, he had spent some time at the government complex and the
old Danielsville cemetery researching some of his ancestors.
Talk about a small world.
Though there were weather warnings earlier in the day on Friday,
the clouds cleared up in time for the ceremony inside the lovely
old church. I don't care how many weddings I go to, I still tear
up when the couple says their vows.
Afterward, it was back to the mansion's ballroom (housed inside
a lovely old Victorian) for dinner and dancing. Dancing with
Charles on the eve of our own anniversary was a good way to celebrate
the completion of another year in our life together. We also
had plenty of entertainment - the bridesmaids hoola-hooped for
the crowd (Miranda hasn't lost her touch!) and the groomsmen
did a little dance number to "Saturday Night Fever."
We came home Saturday morning and decided to go out to eat (again),
just the two of us, for our anniversary.
After a too-big meal at Outback, we came out of the restaurant,
stuffed, to find out we had a flat tire. So it turns out that
at the very moment we were saying our own "I do's"
22 years ago, we were wrestling with a tire in a busy parking
lot on a muggy afternoon. Boy, how times change, but at least
we were together.
All in all, it was a good week, but I'm hoping things settle
down a little now. After all, I'm an old married woman and I
can't take too much excitement.
Margie Richards is a reporter and office manager for the Madison
County Journal.
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