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September 12, 2001
Give up or give all; your choice
By: Adam Fouche
The Jackson Herald
September 12, 2001
What's cooking from the kitchen of Adam
I am a guy. On top of that, I'm a college guy. So before you read much farther into this column, you must know that neither of those actually qualifies me as a good cook.
But after three years of living away from home, you learn how to be a cook. You learn to cook what you have. You invent new foods. And you even sometimes buy the cheap stuff at the grocery store. (I even use a discount card at my grocery store.)
Now, not many people have been brave enough to walk into our kitchen. In fact, I'm scared to walk in there right now because I dropped a glass that shattered into five million pieces. I swept it up, but you and I both know that you can never get up every piece of glass.
But let's just say, for argument sake, that you did go into my kitchen. What would you find?
First, you'd probably notice dirty dishes in the sink. The clean ones are taking up too much room in the dishwasher, so we leave the dirty ones sitting out. You'd also find a floor that hasn't been mopped in one year, 12 days and 22 hours. And, oh yeah, there are coffee stains on the counters too.
Now that you basically know what my kitchen looks like, I can give you a few recipes. I'm always disappointed by the "What's Cooking" features I read in the paper each week. I never see anything original. Everyone either gives a recipe for green bean casserole or grandma's chocolate chip cookies.
But not me, I have original recipes. The good thing is, you only need a handful of ingredients to make any of the following recipes. In my refrigerator, I have milk, orange juice, mayonnaise, pickles, eggs, salsa and some pizza that I swear has been there since sometime this summer. In my kitchen cabinets, the only edible items you would find are salt, pasta, grits, cereal and maybe tortilla chips. Purchase all of those items, and you're ready to cook any of my meals.
PASTA AND EGGS
2 cups of pasta, 4 eggs (two whole eggs and two whites-you know, to lower the cholesterol)
First, cook the pasta in water until it is done. (The pasta can be shells, swirls, bow ties or regular noodles. I prefer shells.) Before the pasta is done, scramble the eggs in a skillet. Add salt to taste. Serve hot. Garnish with pickles. Makes one serving.
MEXICAN EGGS AND GRITS
2 eggs, 2 packages of grits, 2 ounces of salsa, 2 cups of tortilla chips.
Fry the eggs in a skillet. Boil water and mix with the grits. Add salt to taste. Garnish with Mexican style salsa and chips. Serve with orange juice.
A little bit of milk, 1 bowl of cereal
Pour the cereal into a bowl. Pour the milk over the cereal. Serve cold with orange juice.
1 ounce of mayo, 2 cups of pasta, 2 eggs, beaten, a pinch of salt, 2 ounces of milk, 2 ounces of salsa
Cook the pasta and scramble the eggs. Drain the pasta when it is done cooking. Mix the eggs and pasta together in a saucepan. Stir in the salt, milk and mayo. Serve hot with the salsa on the side. Sure to be a crowd favorite.
I hope you will give my recipes a try. They have saved me from starvation hundreds of times.
If you like these recipes, you might like my book, "Cooking 100 different things with less than 10 ingredients." You can order it for only $29.99 a copy, but only if you cut out my column and mail it with your order. Otherwise, the book is $30,000.
If you have any questions about the recipes or would like to order my book, please call me. In the meantime, I'll be at the doctor, trying to recover from food poisoning.
Adam Fouche is a reporter for MainStreet Newspapers. His email address is firstname.lastname@example.org.
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