Banks County Opinions...

NOVEMBER 24, 2004


Column

By: Angela Gary
The Banks County News
November 24, 2004

Plenty of emotion in awards show
I realized why I love country music so much when watching the recent Country Music Association (CMA) Award Show.
The show will be recast on CMT at 8:30 p.m. on Thursday, Thanksgiving Day. While most country music fans already know who won, it’s worth watching to see all of the great performances. I plan on watching it for a second time.
It really was an emotional night with the stars truly touched when they won awards. It is clear how much the stars love each other. A great example of this was Alan Jackson telling Kenny Chesney he hoped he won the Entertainer of the Year award, even though he himself was once again nominated.
When Kenny won Entertainer of the Year, his first CMA award, he was overcome with emotion. “I’m so proud to be in country music,” he said. “I love country music with all my heart. I take pride in doing what we’re doing. I stay up at night on the road trying to think of ways to make my show better.”
When the music started playing to signal him to stop talking, he says, “I waited 12 years for this. You ain’t gonna run me off in two minutes. You turn off the TV. We’re going to be here awhile.”
They did cut Kenny off because they were out of time, but he later publicly thanked the fans and some of the people who have helped him in his career.
Kenny also won Album of the Year for “When the Sun Goes Down.”
Gretchen Wilson, who won the Horizon Award, was clearly honored by the award. She was teary-eyed as she told the crowd, “I came here last year and sat way back there...in the very back and dreamed of standing up here some day, and I just had no idea it was going to happen this fast.” She was also overcome with emotion with the star-studded crowd stood to their feet and applauded after her performance of “When I Think About Cheatin.’”
The best teary-eyed moment came when a clearly shocked Keith Urban won Male Vocalist of the year. “I can’t believe that,” he said. “Thank you so much. Oh, my Lord. I thought I was just rounding out the category. I’m so dumbfounded. I don’t know what to say. Thank you to God for music, and I’m so glad my mom and dad are here tonight. It’s amazing...Thank you...”
The incredible Martina McBride won again for Female Vocalist of the Year. “I’ll tell you what. When I was a little girl in Kansas, I had some big dreams, but I don’t think I ever dreamed this big,” she said. “This is unbelievable.”
Be sure and check out the awards show recast on CMT on Thanksgiving Day. The performances are great and it’s wonderful to see the honest emotion as the honorees accept their awards. It makes you appreciate country music.
Angela Gary is editor of The Banks County News and associate editor of The Jackson Herald.

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Column

By: Zach Mitcham
The Banks County News
November 24, 2004

The news of the absurd
A river of news flows by us every day. And overshadowed by the wave of headlines of war, the economy and the environment, are the stories of a 59-year-old soon-to-be mother of twins, or a man in India pronounced dead waking up at his own funeral, or a cat saving a man from a fire.
The absurd is everywhere. For all the monotony we may feel in our routines, there is always something in the news that will make us do a double-take, make us fold the newspaper and show it to a friend: “look at this, this world’s crazy!”
Here are some of the news items you may have missed in recent years, but ones that made me chuckle:
•“Bank robber leaves with nothing due to badly written ransom note” (-Ananova: 2002)
A bank robber left a bank he was attempting to rob with nothing, because the teller couldn’t read the sloppily-written ransom note. After the teller told the man that she could not read the note, the man tried to tell her to give him all the money, but she couldn’t understand his speech either. Frustrated, the man left the bank and 10-minutes later he robbed a South Trust Bank across the street. This time he used a note that was more legible. He made off with a small amount of cash, and is still at large.
— My thought: Picture that moment when the robber went back to his get-away car and asked the driver for a pen, then wrote in big, block letters, “THIS IS A STICKUP!” before asking his accomplice whether “stickup” needs a hyphen.
•“No one shot the sheriff, but someone cut the mayor, a goat” (The New York Times: 2002)
According to the article, the mayor of the town of Lajitas, Texas, is an actual goat. The goat’s name is Clay Henry III and he is the “latest in a short line of beer-drinking goats to be ‘elected’ mayor” of the town, which has no municipal government. The article notes that someone now faces criminal charges for maiming the goat. The assailant castrated the animal, apparently wanting to end the line of Clay Henry mayor goats.
— My thought: What if the town actually had council meetings? Imagine the scene: a goat at the head of the table, a chicken representing District 1, a lamb for District 2. “....As I was saying, Mr. Mayor, (sound of the meeting agenda being eaten in the background) I’d like the council to consider the ramifications of a B-1 development in a largely agricultural area...Do you understand the...(Baaaa! Baaaa!)....But sir...spot zoning is not the way...(Baaa! Baaa!)
More in the way of farm sounds....
•“Contestants prepare for pig screaming imitation competition” (-Ananova: 2001)
Contestants are preparing for the annual pig screaming imitation competition, to be held in France. The contestants must imitate a pig’s scream throughout its life, including birth and right before it’s slaughtered. The contest usually draws around 15 contestants, and the past winners include an 80-year-old man and a 15-year-old teenager. The winner will receive a whole pig, along with its head.
— My thought: Think of the many ways this pig-talk skill would serve you well in the working world. There are, of course, never enough pig shriekers in any cubicle setting.
•“Thieves steal toilet — with man still in it” (Ananova: 2004)
Thieves who stole a public toilet in a Belarus city accidentally kidnapped a man who was sitting on it at the time.
Pravda reports that the thieves stole the portable toilet in the city of Gomel, Belarus, and loaded it on to their tractor trailer.
They played it so cool that passers-by presumed they were taking it away legitimately, but one man knew better.
He sat on the toilet at the time and was startled to suddenly find himself being carried through the city on the back of a tractor.
The 45-year-old man was trapped and could not release himself until the rope the thieves had tied around the cubicle loosened because of the jolting ride.
He finally opened the door to find he was being driven at full speed through the city’s suburbs. He jumped off the tractor and broke his collar-bone, SPB-Vedomosti reported.
The man reported the incident to the police and officers eventually tracked down the missing toilet to the house of a local resident.
— My thought: I’ll beware of toilet burglars the next time I enter a porta-potty.
This is, of course, some silly stuff.
But it’s fun to look at the lighter side of the news from time to time.
Zach Mitcham is editor of The Madison County Journal.


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