I’m not from Winder originally, although I’ve lived here for half my life.
However, I often feel like Alice stepping through the looking glass into wonderland. And one thing in particular has been baffling me since its first appearance on New Year’s Eve — the Wog.
Now maybe I’m not in the loop because I’m not a native Winderite, but I’m just a bit fuzzy on what is the Wog. I first encountered the Wog at the first annual Jug Drop on New Year’s Eve. I had seen the name pop up in the local papers yet when my eyes beheld the Wog it was truly frightening.
Apparently, the Wog is a mythical creature like a unicorn or a non-frightening clown. It mostly resembles a werewolf, prior to the Jacob Black mania. Try to imagine a spin off of American Werewolves in London. Now take that image and give it a long red forked tongue, beady red terminator eyes, and a beer belly and you have got yourself the Wog.
Waiting for the jug to drop, I found myself gazing around surveying the merriment. Then as I turn around to my right, out of the corner of my eye I glimpse the Wog, carrying balloons. While it was quite frightening (and now a very frequent visitor of my nightmares), it seemed very mellow. Usually scary mythical creatures are devised to scare the younguns into doing something gruesome like eating their vegetables or going to bed. (Why parents would threaten kids about the Wog to make them go to sleep is beyond me.)
“Now Timmy, you need to go to bed or the Wog’s gonna getchya!” Gee, somehow if my parents told me that I wouldn’t sleep for weeks (or assuming the Wog would get me, only one night.)
However, this once inhuman scary folk tale being must be in anger management classes or taking a happy pill daily because it was completely friendly at its grand reappearance. It took photos with kids, hugged them and gave them balloons. I was kind of looking forward to a vicious and grotesque monster (great photo op), instead we get a giant teddy bear with a beer belly, winning over the hearts of many.
I personally believe the Wog is still the vicious creature from folklore, just lulling us into a false sense of security. Soon it’ll publish a children’s pro environment book along the lines of “The Wog in the Smog,” tactfully suggesting to cut back CO2 emissions. This will win not only the left wing but their children.
Next the Wog will be doing book signings and have appearances on Dr. Phil and Jerry Springer, getting a movie deal in Bollywood (like Slumdog Millionaire — Wog Style) and eventually taking Hollywood. Now that the Wog is a big Hollywood star, do you trust it now?
I didn’t think so.
Jessica Brown is a student at Winder-Barrow High School and the Barrow Journal’s photographer. You can reach her at jessica@picsbyjessica.com.