Hello, neighbors. May is one of my favorite months of the year, year after year. December is fine, Christmas is great. I have a lot of friends with September birthdays (mine included), so it’s another enjoyable month. October is nice, too; Halloween is one of my favorite made-up holidays, and I enjoy watching terrible scary movies from the 1980s all month.
May tops the list, though. May feels lighter. I feel lighter in May, as the school year comes to a close with activities that put me at ease: relaxing outside class periods playing gagaball with the kids, Field Day, bounce-house day, awards days. It’s not all school, though. May is also pleasant because Mother Nature is just about done flexing her muscles, providing green scenery in every direction, birds already singing and busy before sun-up, even the first warm-evening thunderstorms in the distance — more on that another time.
For the time being, considering my sunny spirit, I want to take a break from the usual “Mindful Moment” to talk about jokes. Now, if you have trouble laughing at bad jokes, then you may want to stop reading before the next paragraph. I love them. I have a file on my computer: 16 pages and counting of one-liners that always get a laugh from me but rarely from other folks. That’s the main thing, though…the laugh. I find it easy to laugh at just about any joke because of intention. A joke’s existence centers on fun and levity. They’re flippant and silly, deliberate attempts at distancing ourselves from the serious and mundane elements of our lives. If someone tells you a joke, why NOT laugh instead of not laugh? Jokes also play with words, and as someone who finds joy in exploring language to convey meaning (more and more with each passing week and subsequent submission!), I treasure their ability to send our common meanings and phrases askew.
Final warning. If you’re not ready to lighten up, please stop reading. Here are some of my favorite “shorts.” I keep them in my back pocket at all times, ready for a first-time listener.
•My dog used to chase people on a bike. It got so bad I had to take it away from him.
•Ever heard of the Werewolf’s cousins? Whatwolf and Whenwolf.
•Did you know some alligators can grow up to 15 feet? Most only have four, though.
•A magician was driving down the road. Then…he turned into a driveway.
I think I enjoy telling jokes even more than I love hearing them. A line from an old Drive-By Truckers’ song says something like, “[…] a Southern man tells better jokes.” I always think of that line when I’m about to lay a real whopper on someone. Usually my coworkers at Ila Elementary get a weekly dose of at least one joke, though friends and family get it even more often! In keeping with the lyrics above, I truly relish transforming a short joke into a longer, possibly believable story, then casually tossing out a punchline at the end. Maybe there really was a huge spider on the first-grade hallway at 6:30 a.m. Maybe the morning custodian really was afraid to get close to it and asked me to deal with it. Did she really not want me to squish it after all that fuss, telling me to take it out instead? Did I? Was the spider actually a nice gal? Did we have a nice supper? Is she a web designer? Friends, I am laughing as I am typing.
I could go on and on with the subject of jokes — so many one-liners, knock-knocks, almost-true zingers. Perhaps I’ll come back to the topic and share more with you one day. For now, I’ll leave you with one of my all-time favorites told by one of my all-time favorites, Norm MacDonald:
A moth went to his doctor’s office one day. He gets called back to the exam room where the doctor asks, “Hello, Mr. Moth. Haven’t seen you in a while. What’s the problem with you today?” The moth says, “Well, doc, I’ll tell you what the problem is: my boss. He keeps barking orders at me all day, hands me all the worst projects with impossible deadlines, makes me buy everyone coffee each morning. He’s just a real jerk.” The doctor replies, “Sorry to hear that Mr. Moth, but, you know, I’m a doctor. You need to tell me what’s wrong with you so I can help.” The moth starts in again, “What’s wrong?! My marriage—that’s what’s wrong. My wife and I used to be so close. Friday-night dinner dates, all that. Now, I get home, she’s gone. No supper. House is a wreck. No clue where she’s at!” The doctor patiently says, “Mr. Moth, that’s terrible news, but as I said, I can only help you if you tell me what YOU’RE having trouble with.” The moth doesn’t even slow down, “I’m having trouble with my son, doc! Doggone teenager. You know, we used to fly all around the neighborhood together, laughing, happy. Now all he does is come home from school and go straight to his room — BOOM — door closed. I just don’t know what to do.” The doctor, a little flustered by now, finally says, “Mr. Moth, your life does sound tough. But, as I said, I’m your doctor, your medical doctor. Could you please explain why in the world you came to see me in my office today?” The moth says, “Because the light was on.”
My hope for you is that you take the time to enjoy a joke in the coming days. Thank you for making my life better, people who laugh (or is that a groan?).
Travis Moak is a Madison County educator and contributor to The Madison County Journal.
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